Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Notes from the Mad Science Lab: Who needs a barber?

So, I was tinkering with the prototype for a new kind of ray last night, and I forgot to check the calibration on the refraction crystal before I switched it on. Instead of focusing the ray on the target, it gave the whole room a mild dose of necroactive radiation.

So now I'm bald.

Which, you know, I needed a haircut anyway. The problem is that this wasn't just your garden variety death ray. Oh, no. Any fool can build one of those. This was a bit more complicated. This was an undeath ray. It was designed to kill people and bring them back as zombies.

It works, too. How do I know, if I haven't had a successful test yet? Go on, take a guess.

I know because all those little hairs are crawling around on the floor of the lab. Or rather, they were. Most of them are in the incinerator now. Unfortunately, I had to throw the vacuum cleaner in with them - they were starting to break out of it. So there might still be one or two twitching around in the corners. Doesn't matter; a better vaccum will take care of them, and I've been meaning to build one of those since that incident with the radioactive gopher.

I'm just lucky the cat wasn't in there with me.


  1. Couple things-

    If you would have had a Dyson, the cyclonic action would have killed the hairs and left your cleaner intact.

    And, how does one chop the head off a wriggling hair? Wouldn't it be like the Fantasia thing where all those broomsticks zombiefied and attacked?

    And lastly, be careful of any stragglers you may have missed. I foresee them mutating while you work, unaware.

  2. I like your term necroactive radiation - it's a keeper!

  3. Sadly, the revivified hairs appear to be immune to blunt trauma. And, yes, beheading is a lost cause. Fortunately, fire does the job just fine.

    You're right about the stragglers, though. I'm starting to hear things banging around behind the cabinets, and I'll bet that's exactly what it is...


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