"So, mighty hero, I have kept you imprisoned in this floating crystal for a thousand years. You must be utterly mad by now!"
"No, not really."
"It's got a charger, and you have really good WiFi."
"You've been using my WiFi this whole time???"
"...Yeah? I mean, you left it unsecured."
"Get OUT of my crystal, hero!"
"Wait, what? You don't want to put me back in? Torture me for another thousand years?"
"TORTURE you? Torture you, by offering you free WiFi?"
"Yeah! I mean, um, please don't do that. Ever."
"No! Get out of my prison-crystal! I COMMAND IT."
::Hero draws sword::
::Hero slays Dark Lord::
::Hero climbs back into crystal::
"Maybe now I can finally get the high score in Angry Chocobos..."