Friday, March 6, 2015

Parenting: Head vs Belly

Me: "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"

Firstborn: "No. Why are you asking me that?"

Me: "Because fifteen minutes ago I came in here and asked if you could pause your game in a couple of minutes and go brush your teeth. Do you remember that?"

Firstborn: "No."

Me: "It's my fault. I should have just made you do it then, when I was thinking about it and I had your attention. Or maybe I need to-- crush yer heed!"

Firstborn: (batting my hands away from his skull) "My head?"

Me: (dropping hands) "No, no, I should have made you do it then."


Me: "But I could still crush your head!"

Firstborn: (lowering his head towards my belly) "If you're going to crush my head, there's something I have to first."

Me: "Does this thing... involve... my belly?"

Firstborn: "Yes!"

Me: "Then you must not do it!"

Firstborn: "I have to do it! Or! The world will end!"

Me: "No! Go brush your teeth! I do not want to crush your head!"

Firstborn: "I have to!"

Me: "Away! Away from my belly! Go! Teeth! Brush!"

Firstborn: "Belly!"

Me: "No--" (pause) "Okay, stop. I have to write this down."

Firstborn: "What?"

Me: "Really. I have to write this down."

And then I ran here, to my laptop. Firstborn still hasn't brushed his teeth, though.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to leave comments; it lets me know that people are actually reading my blog. Interesting tangents and topic drift just add flavor. Linking to your own stuff is fine, as long as it's at least loosely relevant. Be civil, and have fun!