Wednesday, August 30, 2017

I hate this time of year.

We're into our second week of school for the Beautiful Wife and both boys, and naturally we're sick. (Firstborn appears to be the lone exception.) Fortunately, we're not badly sick -- I took Monday afternoon off, but made it all the way through Tuesday, if only barely -- but this is a lot more sick than I'd like to be. Especially since I'd like to be, well, Not Sick At All.

But, no: headache, low energy, irritability, occasional chills, inability to concentrate... blech. At least I'm not sick to my stomach anymore; that was what did me in on Monday. But I can feel the swollen lymph nodes in my throat, and they are not happy.

The worst part, though, is that the Beautiful Wife and I are both just demoralized. And I'm pretty sure it's less of a rational assessment, or even a reaction to being sick, than it is a direct result of being sick itself. But it's just... Ugh. I feel useless. And wasted. And stuck. It's like we've come down with an emotional head cold as well as a physical one. I feel like... I feel like I'm never going to do the things I really want to do.

And then I think about the boys sleeping in the next room, and I know that can't be right. I'm already doing the things I really want to do. This is the life I want. And yeah, there are some things which aren't developing the way I'd like, or anywhere near as fast as I'd like, but I'm pretty sure that shouldn't fill me with this weird existential combination of dread and despair.

The boys are actually doing okay. Secondborn was sick to his stomach back on Sunday (just as I was on Monday), but he managed to go to school and seems to be doing fine; Firstborn continues to watch YouTube videos while walking on the treadmill at every opportunity. He laughs in the face of illness. He, too, seems to be handling his first week of school (and his first year of Middle School - he's in sixth grade now) pretty well.

So, again: rational analysis suggests that things are actually going well, if not perfectly. But... well... just try telling that to my feelings...


Feel free to leave comments; it lets me know that people are actually reading my blog. Interesting tangents and topic drift just add flavor. Linking to your own stuff is fine, as long as it's at least loosely relevant. Be civil, and have fun!