In today's news, the reported hunger strike at the suburban penal colony known ominously as "Our Home" has continued into its second consecutive ten minutes. The anonymous prisoner, referred to only as "Secondborn" by the guards, has continued his steadfast refusal to eat his pizza. Warden Michael Mock has declined to comment on the reports, but an anonymous source reports that poor food quality may be behind this radical act. "He keeps saying, 'Sauce is yucky.' That, and 'I want an ice cream sandwich.' We're trying to get him to eat. Believe me, there's nothing we'd like more than to have him finish his plate, but he just won't do it."
More on this story as it comes in, but for now I hope you'll join us as we offer our prayers for this brave young man and his principled stand against the forces of tyranny.
That poor, brave child!
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