Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Notes from the Mad Science Lab: Changing the Plan

So, the design of the vampire porcubats didn't work out so well. I mean, it did, but... ::sigh:: Okay, let me explain.

Porcupines are sometimes supposed to be able to throw their spines. That isn't really how it works with ordinary porcupines; it's more of an urban legend. Except that, well, the porcubats... by the time I got done with them, they could. And they were surprisingly accurate, at distances of up to about thirty feet.

Fortunately, the mad science lab is underground, so most of its surfaces are reinforced concrete. Unfortunately, a couple of the porcupats got loose, and made themselves a nest behind the decontaminator. By the time I found them, there were a couple of dozen of the little buggers - they're designed to breed quickly, after all - and when I surprised them, they scattered.

I'm still picking quills out of the equipment... Most of which, by the way, is highly expensive, very delicate, and more than a bit hard to replace. Some of it is unique - devices that I invented myself. I'm more than a little bit annoyed by this.

So: no more porcubats. Instead, I've managed to create a Venus Flytrap large enough to trap and consume an adult human. That should be be sufficiently threatening to drive people away; all I'll need to do now is crossbreed it with kudzu to make sure it spreads fast enough to clear the land that my client wants cleared.

That should be much easier to control than the porcubats were.

3 comments:

  1. "all I'll need to do now is crossbreed it with kudzu to make sure it spreads fast enough to clear the land that my client wants cleared."

    Oh, no .. absolutely nothing can go wrong with that. No way! Nuh uh. Nope nope nope.

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  2. Yes, that should be easily controlled because, y'know kudzu is so easily controllable.

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  3. What? Are you saying that there might be an inherent problem with kudzu-based biotechnology? I'm sure it's nothing that my genius can't overcome.

    ReplyDelete

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