The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Hi there.

I am a man. As a man, I have opinions. If you're lucky, I will share them with you.

You see, my opinions are not just a random assortment of views and positions that I've accumulated over the years. Not at all. Each one is logically derived after careful consideration of irrefutable First Principles, arranged by the guiding light of pure rationality. They are glorious in their elegance, boundless in their complexity, and unrivaled in the field of pure philosophical truth. They are... perfect.

And I have opinions on everything. I have opinions on Abortion. Not just "an opinion"; oh, no. Opinions. I have opinions on parenting, driving, the nature of art, the economy, fashion, gay marriage, children who won't stay quiet in restaurants, the role of government in society, abstinence-only education, gun rights, free speech, artichoke hearts, and taking the Christ out of Christmas. And those are just the areas in which I've enlightened my fellow human beings in the last three days.

So the next time you start to talk about your views on anything, you should stop and ask me what I think, first. It'll save us all a lot of time.