Silly Chuch Signs

On my way into work, I saw one of those church signs. You know, the ones with the movable letters: they usually have some sort of proverb, or invitation, or spiritually uplifting message. They are also, far too often, trying desperately to be clever or relevant (or both, in this case). So, in tribute to Bruce Gerencser (of the late, lamented Restless Wanderings blog), I thought I'd offer my own installment of Silly Church Signs:

WHEN YOU REACH THE END OF YOUR ROPE

YOU FIND THE HEM OF HIS ROBE

The message, clearly, is that Christianity is for people who just can't cope with their problems anymore. Okay, not really; I think the message is supposed to be that Jesus offers comfort when you're in need. But what really struck me about this was... well, look at this way: you reach the end of your rope; you find the hem of His robe; so you start climbing, right?

So now I'm struck by (and also stuck with) the image of a bunch of worshippers scurrying around inside Jesus' robes like mice in some poor woman's petticoats. Paul and Gabriel are shaking and fluffing the robe, trying to get them out, while Jesus dances around or tries to scramble onto a chair. (...Does the bible say whether Jesus was ticklish? 'Cause in this vision, He was giggling uncontrollably.) Oh, and Gabriel keeps accidentally knocking Paul in the head with one of his wings. Got that? Now picture all this happening to the music from Benny Hill, because that's how it appeared in my head.

Church signs: not the best place to try and be clever. Also, my brain comes up with the most random associations...