Dark Armor: An Unexpected Reunion

"A moment before you go," the Grandmother said easily. She was looking around, eyes slightly narrowed. "There is something here that should not be. An intruder." Her voice firmed. "Come out."

Ember slid out of Ashmiren's shadow and stood, cowed and hesitant. 

"I know you," the Grandmother said. Her gaze shifted to Pallian. "You didn't destroy it?"

"I didn't see the need," Pallian admitted. "I didn't expect it to stay around after I broke the binding."

"Ah," she said. "You aren't much experienced with the Nightmare Realms, then." 

Pallian swallowed. "I confess total ignorance," he said, forcing his voice to stay casual. Just two people talking here; idle chit-chat, with nothing important at stake. "What I do know is that it's currently calling itself Ember, and it saved both myself and the third-princess from the Second's power."

"Did it?" asked the Grandmother. "How very interesting. I could bind it for you, if you like...?"

Pallian shook his head even as Ember shrank in on itself. "No," he said firmly. "Ember helped us because it wanted to. We owe it a debt, and that would be poor repayment indeed."

"Now that is interesting, coming from a prince of the realm and a son of your father. You trust it?" 

"It's shown itself worthy so far. Leave it be."

"As you wish," said the Grandmother. "Then it's the three of you bound for the Temple of the First?"

"Ashmiren?" asked Pallian. "Ember?"

Ember nodded immediately. "I will help as I said I would, and you will show me how to live here as one of you -- as you said you would."

Ashmiren seemed to hesitate, then nodded. "As much as I want to find my mother and sister, this is... I cannot turn aside from this. Yes, I'll go with you."

"Hrrm," said the Grandmother. "Excellent." She fixed her dead eyes on Pallian. "Leave the armor; the bats won't be able to carry it. Take the Spear; without the armor, you'll need it."

"If I take the Spear," Pallian said slowly, "the Second will know it."

"Not until you enter battle," the Grandmother answered. "If the First favors you, by then it will be too late."

Pallian nodded, acceding. He knew himself ignorant on most of these matters, and had no reason not to trust the Grandmother, whose survival evidently hinged on his success. 

"So we're taking the riding bats?" asked Ashmiren. The Shadow of Edrias was a mysterious, dangerous, terrifying figure, but right now she just sounded like an unreasonably excited little girl...

...And Pallian loved it.

Terra Povos: In The Hole

So, the dwarven Senator is dead, We’re in jail. 

The Lictor is Bjorn, the Senator was Goldbeard, and the senator’s son is Throg. The skull is Vinny. 

We sit in the cell for a week. Despite James’ constant questions, it isn’t bloodbowl season. At the end of the week, Ingrid – our Advocate – appears. She thinks we’re pretty much screwed, but she’s going to do her best to get us off. We are, of course, being charged with the murder of the senator. 

She is, to put it charitably, incompetent. It’s her first case, the Quaestor himself is judging it, and the fix is definitely in. 

A dwarf calling himself Gorm opens the door in the middle of the night. He obviously knows who we are. He thinks we can help each other. 

Archibald: “How?”

Gorm: “You guys have a problem. It’s Throg. He’s enraged, he’s hot-headed, and he’s the head of the family now. Myself, I’m concerned that this might have something to do with one of my guys. I need somebody who can track down somebody who’s outside the law.”

Archibald: “A rogue rogue?” 

Gorm: “No. But I need somebody to track this guy, and you need this Throg problem to go away.”

Note: the dungeon we’re currently in is one of the local city dungeons; we’re not in the Goldbeard estate. 

Gorm: “This person was potentially formerly working for Goldbeard, and if he turned on Goldbeard then I have a problem that needs to be cleaned up. Unfortunately, Throg has made this whole thing very public. But I can get you sent to a low-security prison and supply you with some equipment. That way Throg’s satisfied and you’re off his radar. And with everything that’s been happening in Stonehaven–” 

“Wait. Since we’ve been gone?”

“Yes. Your boat captain has been killed, for example.”

Ohhhhh, boy. 

We explain that there are other things going on, and Gorm reluctantly agrees to wait on hearing our additional information. Ingrid shows up bright and early and ready to go: “It’s time to argue my first trial, and in front of the Quaestor himself!” Also, the cake had metal in it and so wasn’t allowed into the prison. Throg comes in with a horde of lawyers; we have Ingrid. Quaestor Hammerheart comes in and Throg launches into his case. He calls some of the maids, and Dane (whose fighting ring we busted up). Ingrid stands up and proudly declares that we’re throwing ourselves on the mercy of the Court. 

Hammerheart stands up: “I am ready to render my judgement.” 

Gorm comes in and is sitting in the back. The Quaestor calls a recess and speaks with Gorm, and Whisper sees him say, “No souls? Truly?” 

He calls court back into session, but much less publicly; his judgement: “I’m sorry. You seem like good kids. The best I can do for you is ten years in The Hole.”

Throg looks like he has no idea what his father might have been into; he’s just straight up angry and lashing out. As we’re being marched out, somebody slips Whisper a pack of thieves’ tools and a note suggesting that someone will contact us on the inside. They cart us down to a small prison built off one of the abandoned mine tunnels: The Hole. Warden M’hole introduces himself; he usually goes by his first name, Hammer. 

Amergin’s going in the priests’ wing. James and Whisper are going in general population. Archibald is apparently going to start by spending a day in solitary, which has not only anti-magic but also Silence. Lithos gets classified into the wizard’s wing, not because Hammer M’hole believes that he’s a wizard, but because he’s pretty sure that Lithos is a camp slave and will get eaten alive in general population. We’re down about 4,000 feet and it’s about 100 degrees and damp. 

Amergin gets a little coil of thorns to worship, and the guard also asks about hours. Amergin has them mark him down as nocturnal; the shop won’t be open then, but Amergin doesn’t care. They don’t have any plants or animals except Monster, whatever that is. Waste bucket duty will earn him a bit of extra money. 

There are a couple of other people in the priests’s cells: a dwarven druid who’s been there for a while, named Lars, who has sworn a vow of silence. There’s an elf priest of Apollyon named Darexis, a priest of Amun who refuses to give his name. 

Things are a little tougher in general population. Guard: “There are three gangs. Join one. The Gravelers are mine workers. The Nomads are mostly dwarves, led by Naughty Hilda. The Chiefs are the most diverse gang, take care of their own, work with the guards.” They ask them about jobs. They both take up dish-washing as a job. 

Baldy is trying to sing, and failing. Eventually he gets the speech as well. He meets Trachelious, who wears fancy clothing but keeps muttering to himself. Rometta Blackblood is a convicted dwarven necromancer – she doesn’t eat with the others because she tend to try to eat the other prisoners. There’s also a bald, tubby human called Zaccharius The Wise. Amergin tries to get basic advice on what to do and what to avoid. The priest of Amun is like, “Oh, yeah. I know exactly how to get out of here. There are secret passageways all over this place. The guards have rings that let them see. I haven’t gone yet because I’m waiting to buy a bedroll.” Darexis is a dark elf priestess of Apollyon; she fought with a dwarf because he was weak, and killed him. 

Whisper and James eat by themselves. 

Trachelious seems to have been a sorcerer, and maybe not being able to cast spells has caused him to freak out. Zac is more helpful; he explains about Solvi, who runs the commissary. Some prisoners who’ve been here for a long time get to help her out. There’s one guy who’s this monster of a dwarf, called Monster; Zac thinks he seems nice enough. The guards have their own quarters, and that’s where the vault is; the warden’s room is back there. There are ballistae aimed to protect the front gate, and there are speaking tubes that the guards use and may also be able to listen in on us.

Baldy finally gets brought out of solitary. He, James, and Whisper are all out there in the yard with the gangs. The Gravelers are pretty obvious; the Chiefs and the Nomads slightly less so. The Chiefs are off to one side, calmer, a little better dressed; the Grvelers obviously just spend most of their money on beer. 

A dwarf comes over and shoves James over. Whisper steps up in front of him. The dwarf laughs. “It’s my job to clean up the yard,” he says. “I was just trying to clean up some vermin.” 

A big dwarf comes over from the Chiefs. “I want to fight him.” He points at James.

James, looking at a dwarf that’s twice his size. “Yes!” 

The dwarf rolls up his sleeves; James shakes out his arms. Baldy attempts to sing and inspire courage, which doesn’t work but sounds nice. (The whole place is under an anti-magic field.) She punches the dwarf, who grunts more in surprise than anything else. The dwarf swings and misses. He grunts again. She punches him again. This time he punches her, and looks surpised when she shrugs it off. He swings again and misses. 

The guards have faded back. Baldy starts trying to take bets, and the shopkeeper is just waiting for this to be over. Whisper steps into the crowd and swipes a mug of extremely watered beer. James kicks the guy in the shin. “Oi! That wee little thing, it hits so hard! How is it so strong?”

He staggering, and misses again. James hops up and punches him under the chin, and he goes over on his back. The guy from the middle of the Chiefs nods and motions James over. Baldy collects on the bets. Sven introduces himself: “Looks like you can hold your own. How about your friends over there?”

As far as Sven’s concerned, the Chiefs run this jail. They’re the ones who have a code of behavior. They take care of their own problems in house. They’re also basically on the side of the warden and the guards. Gaerm, who James just knocked out, got nine years for killing a man with a trident. One of the people Sven introduces is Kyril, a former smuggler who’s been here for a while; *his* job is to inventory the box.

Sven motions the other two over. Whisper isn’t having any of this, but Archibald is in. James, however, manages to sell Sven on the idea of using Whisper as an agent in another gang. They stage a quick scene, and it looks reasonably convincing. Whisper goes off to examine his new mug. 

Baldy goes and talks to Solvi, to see what’s available. It’s general stuff, including clothing, small decorations, One of the Gravelers, Scorr, carves tiny trinkets that she sells. Despite having won ninety copper from the betting, he doesn’t buy anything yet. 

Amergin has his evening shift. He goes around with the guards, and in the process picks up a better understanding of the layout. 

Lithos wakes up to see a small drawing in poop of two unicorns on the wall. He spends his time in the yard and buys a piece of chalk. A guy slams into the bars looking into the yard. It’s ugly Thrain, who inflicted all those scars on himself. Lithos stops to talk to Monster. He seems nice. He then tries to talk to Thrain. 

The guards out here have no armor, no weapons; just normal clothes, though they’re fit and athletic. He heads back to his cell. It’s a few hours before dinner when the skull shows up. It’s Vinny. He’s been talking to Gorm using a borrowed body. One of his teeth is growing bright brilliant green – it’s a new gem. He can offer us some health.

Our stuff is in the vault, except Amergin and Lithos’ stuff is in the storeroom for the stores. ·         

Create undead minions (no onyx required)

Move small objects telekinetically himself

Imbue other with ability to move objects telekinetically for 20rnds

Lv9: Time Stop (for somebody else) for 3 rounds
Lv8: Clone somebody, with sufficient flesh
Lv7: Statue (Recipient can “become statue at will”)
Lv6: Mage’s Lucubration, recall one of the lv1-5
Lv5: Telepathic Bond, Symbol of Sleep
Lv4: Minor Creation (1x cloth or wood object), Mass Reduce Person
Lv3: Greater Magic Weapon, Phantom Steed
Lv2: Detect Thoughts, Magic Mouth
Lv1: Disguise Self (but on other), Shocking Grasp (on someone else, they can discharge later)

He heads off and vanishes again. 

Lithos uses chalk to draw a little skull with sunglasses on.  Below it he writes, “He’s back.”

Amergin thinks this through. He’s aware that the yard is mostly empty at night. 

Day Two: 

Overnight, Whisper tests his lockpicks and explains about the inside man in the note, so James and Archibald are now up to speed. Archibald gathers some information and ends up talking to the Nomads. Gary, one of the Nomads, says the warden took his golden diamond from the vault. Kyril is the member of the chiefs who inventories the Vault; Ulf is the one who helps Solvi. 

James, it should be noted, still has the cursed mace that periodically leaps into his hand. There are possibilities here. 

Archibald attempts to seduce Solvi; one of the guards comes up behind him and jabs him between the shoulders. He’s stunned. Two of the guards haul him back out to the yard and toss him down on his back. 

That evening one of the guards comes up to the cell. “You. Baldy. You’re invited to a special gathering.” 

This is the point where Sven and a couple of the Chief beat the shit out of him and explain that he needs to stop causing trouble. 

Lithos, meanwhile, goes back to his room after dinner. Vinny is waiting. Lithos has him establish Telepathic bonds with Whisper and Amergin. 

The telepathic bond should last a couple of days.

Driving Needs, part three

"Okay, so why did we drive all the way out here if you could talk to Tammy through the cards at any time?" Elyssa was halfway through her Chicken Florentine pizza, and Chris made a point of keeping his attention on his own Cimarron pizza so that he didn't try to answer for Antoinette. 

Antoinette swallowed another bite of her pizza. She'd gone for the Mount Mushmore, and seemed to be enjoying it. "Because Tammy can't afford to let anybody know that she's been talking to the two of you, and I can't afford for the Ministry to find out that I set up the meeting." She took a drink of her water, then continued. "I don't really know, but I assume that anything said back at the training center will be overheard by the Ministry. A semi-random parking lot in Tulsa, on the other hand..."

Chris glanced at her. He was honestly a little surprised; he'd thought that Antoinette still trusted the Ministry.

She met his eyes. "Don't say it. Yes, your attitude is rubbing off on me, but we're not going to talk about that."

Chris turned his head to look out the window and took another bite of pizza, putting on a look of complete innocence. Elyssa laughed, then turned her attention back to Antoinette. "So all this was was just to set up a chance for Tammy to talk with us, without the Hargraves knowing about it?"

"Officially," said Antoinette, "we're here to eat some really excellent pizza and bond as a team. It's a trust-building exercise." 

Chris swallowed a mouthful of pizza and said, "That may be the best use of Ministry resources that I've ever seen."

"So look," Antoinette said, lowering her voice. "I know neither of you like talking about it, but you were both at Pettibone. I've seen your files, and I know you got in despite that, because you were able to attest to a truthspeaker that you'd been trying to save the students there."

Chris exchanged a glance with Elyssa; they both nodded. "What do you want to know?" asked Elyssa, reluctantly. 

Antoinette looked from Elyssa to Chris and then back. "Nothing," she said. "I trust you, both of you. But if there's anything I should know -- about either of you -- this is the time and place to tell me."

Elyssa said, "None of this gets back to the Ministry?" 

Antoinette met her eyes. "None of it." 

Elyssa sat back and sighed, then reached up and touched the medallion that hung underneath her shirt. She looked at Chris, but he met her eyes flatly, expressionless. After a moment she sighed again. "The ghost that killed Julius Thornblade is still around. She was a wolf, and his former partner; he killed her. We're... kind of dating. When we can. When she thinks it's safe to come out. Which is mostly when we're out in the Grey."

Antoinette set her slice of pizza down and sat back, digesting that. "So our team of three is actually -- potentially -- a team of four." 

Elyssa nodded. "Yeah. Except the Ministry can't know about it. Magus Frummelt would know immediately what ghost was haunting me. And if the Thornblades learned about her, they'd demand her destruction -- no matter that it was Julius who made her a vengeful ghost in the first place."

Antoinette considered that for a long moment. "Okay, so she -- what's her name?"

"Clarissa."

"She's an absolute last resort until we can figure out some way to plausibly introduce her as if she were new. Chris?"

Chris had just taken another bite of his Cimarron, so he held up a hand while he chewed and swallowed. "Yes?"

"Anything I should know about you?" 

Chris shook his head immediately. "Just a wolf," he said. 

"An improbably strong wolf who keeps surviving things that should have killed him," Antoinette said flatly, meeting his eyes and raising her eyebrows. "Grundus thinks you might be an elder, pretending to be younger than you are; apparently some wolves can adjust their appearance that way. Magus Frummelt thinks you were raised here in the Mundus, with at least one magus for a parent. He said it doesn't happen too often, but they think about ten or fifteen percent of Registered Outsiders are actually native to the Mundus. Maybe more. Mageborn children often receive initiations to make them stronger, tougher, smarter, so I can see why he might think so."

Chris looked at her for a long moment. He didn't want to lie to Antoinette, but he didn't dare tell her the truth. "Sure," he said finally. 

"Sure?"

Chris shrugged. "Tell each of them, Grundus and Frummelt, that I wouldn't admit anything but you're pretty sure they're right." He swallowed. "I'd be grateful."

Antoinette shrugged. "Sure," she tossed back at him. "But which one is true?"

He shook his head. "I can't answer that," he said. "I don't dare. Not even taking into account that I trust you completely."

"Chris... should I be afraid of you? Of what you might do, I mean?" She swallowed. "Are you a danger to the magi?"

Chris shook his head. "Nobody here -- and I'm including Clarissa and every mundane in the building -- has anything to fear from me. I'm not here to take revenge on the magi, or tear down the Ministry, or sabotage their work."

Antoinette regarded him for a long moment. "All right," she said finally. "I believe you. And I'll help you keep your secrets, whatever they are."

Elyssa half-stood, leaned over, and kissed Chris on the cheek. "That's from Clarissa," she said. "She wants you to know that she's grateful, and she wants you to keep your head down." She paused for a moment, listening. "She also says we're all in this together, and we have to watch out for each other." She looked at Antoinette. "And she says that you're way cooler than any Thornblade ever was."

Driving Needs, part two

"Okay," said Chris, with most of his attention on the traffic around them. "We're coming into downtown."

They hadn't spoken much on the way in; Antoinette had turned on the radio and let music fill the silence. "Over there," said Antoinette. "Head for the BOK Tower."

"The one that looks like a 9-11 building?" Chris asked tightly. 

"That one," Antoinette confirmed. "Find us a place to park nearby."

Several frustrating minutes later, Chris turned off the car. "Okay, we're here. Now what?"

Antoinette opened her door and got out of the car, so Chris followed suit. Elyssa was already climbing out. Antoinette held up a hand as Elyssa closed her door and Chris hit the button to lock everything; she fished inside her jacket and came out with a deck of cards. 

Arcana, he realized immediately. The feel was unmistakable. Antoinette glanced around and then gestured, and he felt a faint shimmer of Grey gather around them, hiding them from sight. A moment later she was studying one of the cards, speaking softly. A moment after that, she extended a hand and Agatha appeared in a shimmer of rainbow light, clasping her hand and looking around carefully. He caught a brief glimpse of Tammy Lynn Carterhaugh shimmering on the far side of the connection, and then she reached for Antoinette's hand and came through as well. 

"Agatha," said Chris. "Pleasure to see you again." 

"Likewise," she said, still studying their surroundings. 

Antoinette released Tammy Lynn's hand and said, "I understand you wanted some answers from my wolves."

Tammy nodded, then turned to look at Chris, and then at Elyssa. "I want to know what happened to my cousin," she said, glancing around them and tracing the dome of this isn't clear and ignore all this that Antoinette had placed around them. 

Chris nodded. "What was his name?"

"Sean," she said, and drew a deep breath. "Sean Jameson."

Elyssa shook her head. "I didn't see him. I ran across a small group of first years, tried to get them out. There were five of them. When they were caught, I dropped back and then pretended that I'd been tracking them. They didn't-- none of them contradicted me." She shook her head. "I tried to get them out again later, but it was too late. Valdemont was already feeding on the wards and using them to draw strength from the children." She glanced at Chris. "And the ghost wolf had taken a lot of us; nobody knew who to trust."

"Ghost wolf?" asked Antoinette, half a heartbeat before Tammy -- judging by her expression -- would have done the same.

"We died," Elyssa said simply. "We came into Pettibone angry, because we were tired of the magi coming into our lands and taking whatever they would." She glanced at Agatha, but Agatha was still watching their surroundings and didn't notice. "We captured the children, as we were bidden, and hunted for any who had escaped." She paused, eyes distant. "Then some of us turned up dead. Then more of us. There were scents there, wolf scents, but nothing we could track back to a killer."

"Truly?" asked Tammy. "I never saw anything like that in the reports."

"Nobody listened when we talked about it, either." Elyssa shook her head. "And what could we say? One of our own, an elder, might have turned on us? It was a judgement from the gods? There were arguments, dissent, accusations... even desertions." She looked at Chris. "You remember."

Chris nodded. "It was bad," he said. "But Sean Jameson... he was a second year learner, I think."

Tammy nodded.

"So far as I know," Chris continued, "he was gathered with the other students. He would have died when professor Valdemont tried to absorb the Heart." He hesitated. "I'm sorry. I wish I had some comforting tale of his courage or resistance to convey to you. I'm sure he was a good kid."

Tammy Lynn Carterhaugh drew in a deep breath, then released it. "That's more than I knew before, at least," she said after a long moment. "I wish I could have him back." 

Elyssa nodded sympathetically. "I wish the whole thing had never happened."

Chris nodded at that. 

"All right," said Tammy. "You kept your promise." She glanced at Agatha, who nodded, and then Tammy drew out her own deck of cards. She pulled the top card, focused on it, and then began to mutter quietly to the person on the other end. 

"Good to see you again," said Agatha, and then stepped up to Tammy, who handed her across to whomever she was speaking with. A moment later Tammy was gone as well, leaving only a rainbow tracery behind her. 

"I''m sorry," said Antoinette. "I thought we'd go and sit somewhere before we had that conversation. The two of you handled it beautifully, though."

Chris grunted and turned away. "Give us a minute," he requested. "That... that was a lot."

Blogging Challenge: Staycations

(This post is part of the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge. You can find links to other writers' answers over at Long and Short Reviews. I have not been following along as reliably this year as I did in previous years, but I'm still participating! Mostly.)

Prompt: How I Feel About Staycations

I love them. 

Seriously, travel can be stressful and expensive and exhausting. Don't get me wrong, it can also be enormous fun. But a staycation is low-key, easy, actually cheaper in some ways than going to work[1], and frequently feels like the only time I really get caught up on things around the house. Sometimes they feel like the only time I get caught up on sleep, too. 

On the other hand, the last two times I've tried to take a few days off for my birthday (a short but very definite staycation) we've had ice storms and the boys have been stuck at home.[2] That part didn't go so well; "quiet and relaxed" for me generally means having the house more or less to myself.

But as a general thing? I love staycations. I would be the perfect retiree. I would literally just, y'know, start cleaning and getting back to my hobbies.

[1] That would be less true if I packed lunch more often. 

[2] Not that they saw it that way. Not at all.

Driving Needs, Part One

"We're going into town," Antoinette said, and Elyssa nodded in a way that made Chris think they'd talked this over in advance.

Chris shrugged. "Okay."

"And," Antoinette added, "you're driving us."

Chris frowned at her, puzzled. "You don't know how to drive?"

"I actually do," Antoinette told him, "but I also know you grumble every time you have a lesson on it. You need to get comfortable with it."

"The fact that I despise automobiles--" Chris stopped, then swallowed and started again. "Fine. I'll drive us."

"Really?" Antoinette asked. "No objections?"

Chris didn't answer; he just turned to look at the car. It was a Honda Accord, a gray sedan, parked not far from the gate. The Ministry didn't forbid its Registered Outsiders from interacting with the human world, it just made very sure that they knew how to pass in mundane society first. Driving a car was part of that.

Antoinette tapped his shoulder and handed him the keys, and he touched the fob to unlock the doors. They climbed inside, Antoinette in the passenger seat and Elyssa in the back, and Chris waited until they were all buckled in before he started the car. "Okay," he said. "Where to?"

"Downtown Tulsa. I'll give you something more specific when we get there."

Chris resisted the urge to shrug again, and instead put the car in gear and drove them out through the gates.

Lithos: At The Square

"I can't believe you put a sleep spell on your bed," Kalkin said, for about the seventh time. They were walking back to the small market square where the tinkers had set their wagons. Once Lithos had finished his lecture, it hadn't been all that hard to convince the other to cut the kobold loose.

"You didn't have to find out," Lithos reminded him. "Now most of my siblings think we're sleeping together."

"Not even if you were a kobold," Kalkin assured him."Not even if you were an incredibly sexy female kobold."

"Kalkin!" a voice called from overhead. Lithos glanced up as Syscylla circled once and then descended, folding her wings behind her as she landed. "Where have you--?" She glanced at Lithos. "Oh. You."

Lithos nodded. "Yes. Oh, me." He actually kind of liked Syscylla; she was Kalkin's sister, younger by about a year, and where her brother's draconic bloodline had manifested as sorcery, hers had manifested as leathery red wings. 

Wings were cool. He wouldn't mind having wings. 

Scylla turned her attention to Kalkin. "Look, whatever you've been getting up to with the goblin--"

Kalkin tried to interrupt, but Scylla kept talking. 

"--you need to get back to the families now. Mom's been worried sick that you'd been arrested and the peacekeepers were about to descend on us, and Dad's been insisting that you were probably right there in the room and laughing your invisible ass off. They had a whole big fight about it. Nobody asked me, of course." She looked at Lithos again. "Um. You should go back to your den now. Pretty sure Uncle Padirog and most of the rest of the elders are going to try to murder you if my idiot brother tries to bring his goblin boyfriend back home."

"We're not--" said Kalkin, just as Lithos protested, "It's not a den--" They stopped, looked at each other, and Lithos finished with, "It's a perfectly respectable inn. And I'm officially a dwarven citizen now." 

"...And we are not," Kalkin added, "any sort of item."

Syscylla frowned doubtfully. "If you say so. You still need to get back to the wagons. And you need to get back to your perfectly respectable inn."

Lithos eyed Kalkin for a long moment. "Find another hobby," he suggested, and turned to start walking away. 

"What," asked Kalkin, "and miss out on all this fun?"