Kids in Bars

It's late -- a bit after Lights Out. Firstborn, however, is very stuffy, so the Beautiful Woman (my wife, for anyone coming in late) has taken him out to the living room to run the deep-tissue massager over his back and hopefully shake loose some of his mucus. Secondborn, of course, has come out to watch... and then come to the dining room to pry me away from the computer, because apparently I need to watch, too.

When I arrive in the living room, I find that Secondborn has pulled out the long, narrow gymnastics mat and set three child-sized chairs on it, all in a row, all facing the same way. Secondborn immediately seats himself in the front chair. I take the seat behind him, but I'm too late to watch; the Beautiful Woman has just switched off the massager, and Firstborn has just gotten up from the couch. He stops beside the row of chairs on the gymnastics mat, so I say: "Sit back there," and point to the seat behind me.

"You sit back there," replies Firstborn.

I stand up. "What, I'm all back-of-the-bus now?" Then I move to the rear chair and sit down again.

Firstborn takes the middle seat. "No," he tells me. "We're measuring the WiFi signal." He points at his younger brother, sitting in front of him. "The tiny bar's WiFi is weak!" Then he turns back and points at me: "The tall bar means WiFi is strong!"

And that's it. I lose it completely. I am laughing too hard to breathe. I thought we were making a bus, but no: Firstborn has arranged us into a signal strength meter.