Wednesday, December 24, 2014

I'm very disappointed in the Internet right now.

How is "Ambrose the Amber-Assed Antelope" not on youtube somewhere? The closest thing I can find - the absolute closest is a variant version of the lyrics, featuring Adolph the Amber Assed Antelope, in text on somebody's blog. Okay, fine, here goes:
Ambrose the amber-assed antelope
Had a very shiny ass
And if you ever saw it
You would say it was made of glass
You would think that it was brass. [updated 2015-12-13 - see the comments]

All of the other Antelopes
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Ambrose
Join in any antelope games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
"Ambrose with your ass so bright
Won't you be my backup light?"

Then how the antelopes loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Ambrose the Amber-Assed Antelope
You'll go down in history!"
I can't possibly be the only one who's heard of this, can I?

6 comments:

  1. No I learned that song from my high school English teacher in 1965. The only thing is you got the last line of the first verse wrong. It should read, "You would think that it was brass."

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    1. That seems likely to be an error on my part. I picked it up from hearing someone else sing it, and I don't really trust my memory on that. Thanks!

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  2. OMG funny, I just heard that for the first time at a Christmas party just a week ago. I too am shocked it's not on YouTube.

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  3. I was searching for this song as well and hoping to find a version on YouTube. The nightly performer at my college pub performed this around the holidays. I think he used Abner, but also saw someone use Adolph.

    Everything is the same in the version I remember with the exception of the last line. Instead of mirroring Rudolph's "you'll go down in history", the line I recall being sung is "you're a lucky SOB"

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    Replies
    1. Huh. I've never heard it with that last line... but I like it!

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