"Okay, Firstborn," I said, "You need to get dressed."
"He's already wearing shorts and a shirt," my wife pointed out. She was right; he was sitting on the floor of his room, wearing shorts and a shirt, and playing with his Minecraft toys.
"Yes," I said, "but those are the same clothes he was wearing at school yesterday... and while he was helping my change your tire last night. He needs something clean." (Last night was a bit... busy.)
"Oh," said the Beautiful Woman.
"Change your clothes, Firstborn," I finished. I waited for a few moments, then added: "Did you hear me?"
Firstborn reached for the Minecraft sheep figurine and picked it up.
My wife reiterated: "Firstborn, did you hear your--"
"Oka-a-a-a-a-y" baa-ed the sheep.
I blinked. "Child, if I get out of the shower and find that the sheep is dressed for school and you aren't... rocks fall, everybody dies."
I swear, the things I never could have imagined myself saying before I became a parent...
Fortunately, both the sheep and Firstborn himself were dressed and ready to go when I got out of the shower.