Short Fiction: Sick Note

"It's not that we don't believe you," said the boss, "it's just that if you're out again you'll need to bring in a doctor's note."

Four hours later, Bob was roaming the street with blood in his mouth and a doctor's note in his hand. A pack of his fellow infected, his few remaining co-workers among them, hunted with him. As he caught the scent of their next victim, Bob had a brief moment of clarity: he remembered a time before he needed to hunt and feed with his packmates, and he wondered if HR regretted that idiotic sick-note policy.

Disproving Your Own Point

Radio: "You're advertising-free with Scotty and Brett on 93.3!"

Me: "And yet, here you are advertising the fact."

Is there a word for when the act of saying something actively disproves the thing you were trying to say?

Firstborn Misses His Class

This was composed entirely by Firstborn, entirely on his own. I have not edited it. Apparently the incident in question happened last year, though this is the first I've heard of it. He was writing about it for his English/Language Arts class this year.

So one time during the second day of sixth grade I went to fifth period during fourth period time, and as such I had to do fifth period multiple times, due to the fact that my fourth period class is math honors, and since directly after math honors is math rocks, and since I don’t go to math rocks, I had nowhere to go after fourth period, so The Teachers decided that I had to do fifth period again.

Let me explain. At that point, I had had effectively two days- One from the previous school day, one half from that day, and the last part from the before school tour- to know my schedule. Due to this, I was only about eight times out of ten sure where to go. However, that last fifth caught me that day, although there weren’t too many negative effects of this.

In my I eyes, nothing was really that wrong. After all, this was one of my periods, and it happened at around this time, right? Eh, it was probably fine, no need to worry about that messed up sense of time in the back of your head, am I right?

In that kind of spirit, I went through this class all the way to lunch, where my friend asked why I was not in class, ghosts didn’t show up, and I found out that I had my schedule messed up. So my actually kind of so-cunning-you-could-brush-your-teeth-with-it plan was to just do my math afterwards, so I went back to class, finished class, and then tried to go do math. However, as I mentioned earlier, I would have had to go to math rocks, and since I don’t go to math rocks, I had to do fifth period- history, by the way –a second time over.

In all honesty, I’m just glad that history doesn’t change either…

It doesn’t…

Right?

Music: No Diggity

This one by Dana Louise & The Glorious Birds:

New Campaign, New Enemies

So we picked up with the D'n'D game again last week. It's been pretty memorable so far. I mean, there was the opening battle, in which we defeated a bunch of barbarian raiders by basically failing to die the way the obviously expected us to.

Then there was the time we tried to infiltrate a bandit camp, and wound up being questioned at the top of the central guard tower... and promptly threw the bandit leader off the tower, hauled up the ladder so nobody else could get up, and drove the bandits out of their own outpost with little more than archery and attitude. That was the same episode where we rescued the colonel in charge of our fort and carried him back on top of a wagon loaded with treasure, so we came out looking pretty good there.

The episode before last, we basically cleared out a haunted cave (with teamwork, yet!) and killed the barbarian raiders who were using it as a base, and captured the second ancient book that we'd been seeking. That went about as well as you could expect, with the barbarian leader getting tripped by our fighter and basically kept prone while we beat her down.

Then, of course, there was our last session, when we encountered a wee little baby blue dragon and very nearly all died.

Yeah. Dragons are tough. Even the teensy cute ones.

Triumph!

I've gotten the whole family down to sleep.

That means I win, right?

That... means... I/// zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Music: Smells Like Teen Spirit

Not the Nirvana version, though. This one's by Tori Amos: